I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
