Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
