It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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