Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
