so explain again why im purple
no
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
