I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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