Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
