I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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