I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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