I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
