waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
