just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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