Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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