well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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