If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
