What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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