i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
