Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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