Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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