i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
