508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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