Your dad touched me again.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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