One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
my poor anus
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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