will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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