If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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