i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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