YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
id be glad to
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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