just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
