hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
