just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
ok first of all what the fuck
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
