Your tits are I can't wait for
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dick very happy bro
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
