Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
