Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
