yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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