Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
