I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
