I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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