youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
