i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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