You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i think i have two assholes
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
