Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
