1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
