Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
