Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
