I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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