Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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