Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
