im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Mom said you looked used
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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