You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
