I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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