Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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