k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
