I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
