went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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