he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
