It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
