I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
