Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
