she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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