were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Never joke about your clitoris.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
