You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You're a waste of cheezeits
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
