How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
