is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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