One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
